As Tiffany's mother it has taken me three months to get to the place where I feel that I can finally put into words what losing my child to melanoma cancer at the age of 24 has done to me, and how it has devastated my family.
Tiffany was so special to us and never gave us cause to worry thru her teen years. She was working and had her own apartment and life was great for her. She loved her job at the Imperial Palace Hotel in the administrative offices and was just starting to really be her own woman.

One chilling phone call to us in December 1998 informing us she had melanoma cancer changed all our lives forever. Once she discovered that the mole (had been there since birth) on her leg was Melanoma Cancer, we were devastated. Incredibly, Tiffany handled this like other challenges she had to deal with in her short life. She went to the best possible doctors and searched the Internet for hours and hours obtaining more information on her disease. After the first operation to remove the mole the surgeon found that it had already spread into the lymph nodes in her groin. We understood that once this type of cancer metastasized to an area other that the original site her chances went down to about a 10 % survival rate.

We were so alarmed that we started doing all of the proven protocols for her suggested to us by her oncologist. Two years into this we could not get the cancer to even slow down. Finally her doctor recommended we take her to The University of Texas M. D. Anderson Cancer Center in Houston. This is one of very few centers that have teams of doctors for every type of cancer. They can do bio-chemo on patients that regular oncologist cannot. After the first trip it didn't look good. As her mother I stood by her on each visit of which there were six.
I watched heartbroken at what she was bravely going through to try and get her life back. Each visit to Houston left her weaker and weaker until Tiffany finally said to us enough is enough. I know I am dying and I want to have a few weeks or months to live a life without doctors and hospitals. As her parents we were heartbroken she had made this decision but you have to remember it was her decision to make. We allowed Tiffany to make all her own decisions about her treatment because as one doctor told her father, Tiffany knows more about this disease than most doctors. At M.D. Anderson on our first visit the doctor told Tiffany they would give her enough bio-chemo to kill the disease or kill her. She knew she was dying and had nothing but time to lose at this point. After three months of this is she decided that to live a few months in pain was better to than to die in a hospital hundreds of miles away from home.

As her parents, we had to respect her decision even though at this point it was going to be a very short time we would have left with her. Tiffany had returned home to live with us when she went on the first year of chemo and she gave herself the injections three times a week. Her courage is what broke my heart. She never once said "why me?" She never once felt sorry for herself and all she wanted in the last few weeks of her life was to ride her Honda sport bike one more time. With the help of Hospice we were able to keep her in her own bed and spent the last few weeks reflecting on her life and how much we loved her and how proud of her we were that she had started to make a difference to people who may have had melanoma. She had a link to her sportbikegirl.com web site and had already started her mission to help anyone she could. That is what has kept us sane. We have the privilege of continuing her quest to fight this disease.

The one point as her Mother that I want to get across is, it was a privilege to take care of my daughter. The one thing that I think all parents or patients need to know is you must seek out the best possible protocol (treatment program) as early as possible. Oncologists treat all types of cancer with the latest information and protocols that they have available to them. I strongly feel when you are diagnosed with certain types of cancer you need to get to a facility like M. D. Anderson. I only wish that Tiffany's doctors had given us this choice in the beginning. Melanoma is one extremely aggressive cancer and once you have it the survival rate is very low. If caught in time and with proper treatment you can save lives. This is what we know we must do.

Never be afraid to ask questions, learn all you can about the cancer, if your doctor does not appear to be caring and willing to spend time with you when you need to talk, find someone who will. Remember you are literally placing your life in their hands. Don't take anything they say at face value. Check it out. My only anger lies in the fact that even though there is information and some help out there you have to work very hard just to dig it out. Ask your doctor about second opinions and ask about other options if the cancer is not responding early in treatment. I truly feel that Tiffany could still be here today had we been given the option of M. D. Anderson at the beginning.

Parents check your children out for moles and unusual freckles, and if you see a change go to the proper doctor for early detection, early detection is the only thing you have in your favor. Husbands and wives check each other out, you may have a mole in a place on your back that you never see. In closing I just want to say how truly proud we are of Tiffany, and we will continue the work she started and thru her Melanoma foundation we will inform, educate and save lives. She deserves that at the very least.

I love you my child,

Mom